#i actually don't remember if I have a tag for them or not...
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Personal ― S. Gojo
Synopsis. Pornstar!Satoru is used to fucking for money's sake. It's something he does often and something he does really fucking well. When he is requested to guest you, however, it shocks everyone to see an immediate energy shift.
Pairing. Satoru Gojo x fem!reader
Content. MDNI, fem! pornstar! reader, chubby! reader implied, gender neutral pronouns used for reader, no use of "y/n", smut, p in v, cunnilingus, slight choking, some semblance of onlyfans, pussydrunk! gojo, gojo is left handed canon, a little bit pathetic, and a little nasty, probable breaches of work boundaries, no beta
Word Count. 3.9k
A/N. baby's first jjk fic, be gentle </3 please give me feedback and lmk if i forgot some tags :3 reposts encouraged!
Rain dribbled and splattered on the window, the tiny water beads reflecting and refracting the dim light from Satoru's phone. He sat upright on his bed, muscular back against the headboard, upper arms aching from his last session two days prior. He had reluctantly agreed to participate in a "professional"―which, to Satoru, was just a word for more work, smaller pay―shoot with some girl he could barely remember the name of.
The result? The director had barked at him to put himself in impossible positions for the camera's sake, which left his limbs sore and not in a good way. Satoru forced the scene to end, left with his money and a vow to himself to never ever work for studios again. He hated being told what to do, especially from guys who don't actually have what it takes.
While painkillers and a nice massage from the spa below his apartment complex did not eradicate the pain, it did make it much more tolerable.
Satoru's thumb swiped across the screen, scrolling through comments from his latest post, a message to his subscribers asking for content ideas. Sure, he did not like being told what to do, but being kindly suggested by his fans to fulfill their desires was different. In the end, he was still in control.
And it probably won't land him in a pharmacy either.
The request that Satoru found came up the most was for him to do ASMR; some fans wanted to hear those pretty praises, those filthy words he gives to his co-stars, spoken to them instead. Although the idea was alluring, Satoru would rather be on camera than behind a fancy microphone in a recording booth—primarily because he was too proud to opt out of showing his god-crafted body (that cocky bastard). But then again, he could find a way to do both...
He shelved that idea for later.
Other requests were suggestions of people to shoot with. Some popular names came up, women and men he had already filmed with and didn't find too interesting. He could fake it, of course; he was an actor, it was half of his job―but he would be unsatisfied with the end result.
Satoru was about to quit reading requests, bored and uninspired until his cerulean eyes stuck themselves to a particular comment. The space between his eyebrows creased as his eyebrows furrowed. It was a subscriber recommending another star, explaining how they weren't very well known, but they believed them and Satoru would make a great pair.
The wording was not what caught his attention, he had gotten plenty of requests with the same exact sentence before. No, it was the name, your page's name―which, to Satoru, felt familiar yet distant. He hadn't shot with you before, no, that wasn't it. Yet he was certain he knew you, knew of you at least.
His thumb reached for the search bar to type in your alias, his eyelids flickering when his gaze fell on your profile, your soft face on display. Satoru felt his length chub up in his boxers, soft lips parting to accommodate for a sudden need of oxygen.
Just as his subscriber said, you were less popular than him, with less than half the number of subscribers he had and an inarguably cheaper paywall in front of your content. Memories of happily searching for his new credit card numbers to pay for your videos came back rushing to him, memories only a few months old.
Satoru recalled seeing a preview and being immediately smitten by your pretty figure, your plush thighs and your tummy, that tiny thrill in your eyes. Fuck, how he had spent half of his revenue giving you tips on an anonymous account―just to obtain a personalized picture of just those pretty thighs, fisting his aching cock to that image for days.
Just looking at that profile again, oh my god.
His eyes laid on the subscription button. He did not even bother getting on an alt account this time to press it, watching the confirmation request pop up on his screen to gather his fingerprint in order to complete the purchase. When the paywall finally went away, Satoru let out a breath he wasn't even aware of holding, his hand travelling to his boxers, palming himself through his briefs as he scrolled.
And oh, he was gone again.
Satoru had never sent a message to his agent that frantically in his life, asking her―no, begging her to contact you to secure a shoot with you. Asked her to do whatever she could to get you in the studio.
The next few days went by without a reply from your part, and Satoru was going mad. He could not remember being this nervous for anyone, this needy. In between sessions of overthinking (maybe he should have asked you himself or maybe offered something more), he found himself replaying videos of yours he had already seen, notably the ones with other men. He knew them by heart.
Those guys didn't seem to appreciate you nearly as much as you needed, as much as you deserved. It pissed him off beyond what he thought was possible, yet made him so hard; He knew he could fuck you so much better than those amateurs you were with, pleasure you in ways they wouldn't even dare.
Unbeknownst to Satoru, you were just intimidated by his offer. Too much money from too big of a creator and an offer that seemed too good to be real to not hold a catch, which is why you did not answer right away, anxiously weighing the implications. It wasn't until he, in a moment of pure desperation and haze, shot you a private message confirming the offer that you replied, shyly agreeing.
From then on, Satoru could barely contain himself, daydreaming about everything he could do to you with his left hand eagerly moving up and down his cock, breathy exhales escaping his mouth and shaky fists gripping his bedsheets. Too often, he found himself checking the calendar on his phone, awaiting the shoot date, disappointed every time that it was still the 15th instead of the long-awaited 21st. Satoru Gojo did not exactly believe himself to be a patient man.
He sent you little messages throughout the week with ideas and reassuring messages. He wanted to know everything about you, your likes and dislikes, what you thought of him, how your body worked, and how he could get you to whine and moan for him.
On the day of the shoot, Satoru was almost unrecognizable to others involved―his agent and the friends he'd stopped to visit on his way to his studio. The man people had described as cocky, overly confident, and self-absorbed was reduced to a nervous, lost-in-thought mess. All because of you, the pretty little thing he would get to have his hands on later that evening.
He'd showered three times, spent too long in his room figuring out what clothes to wear, as if that would matter, and freaked out over his hair. His hair.
And when you finally arrived at the studio with your assistant, he nearly forgot how to breathe. That, or he was purposely holding back for fear of scaring you off, this cute little thing before him. You introduced yourself, pretty eyes gazing up at him, taking a second to admire each and every one of his features. As soon as he saw your smile, here in person, he told himself he could die happy.
Well, he could die happy after having a taste of you.
You were shy while introducing yourself to him. The interaction could easily have been misread as awkwardness, and that was what Satoru would have gone with, too, if he didn't know any better (if he didn't think so highly of himself). Your softer voice, your pretty eyes, god, those eyes. He could tell you might've had a tiny crush on him as well, and he would be lying if he said it didn't make his head reel.
Your assistant all but confirmed it when you excused yourself to the restroom, admitting that you hadn't stopped gushing about this opportunity since you got it.
And when you got back, he had the most annoying smirk and glint in his eyes, looking down at you.
After discussing what he wanted for the scene, making sure you were comfortable and willing to participate―a gentleman, truly, asked you so many times that you started chuckling your answers―he had his agent and your assistant leave the studio after you agreed to dismiss them. He did not mind an audience, but he wanted this to be personal.
"I film all my own shit anyways," he hummed, hopping behind the camera to adjust the angle.
In the film room of the studio was a bedroom set with a queen-sized bed with navy sheets and a wooden frame. A sliding-door closet with mirrors stood tall on the left side, and a bedside table on the right.
The scene you and Satoru agreed upon was vanilla, but he was pleased with the gist of it. Any way he could have you is a way he'd be pleased with, however. It didn't really matter how for the time being.
You sat in the middle of the bed, your back against the cold headboard and palms against the soft sheets, gazing at Satoru as he grumbled at the camera, shifting through the studio to find a new battery with his lips pursed in a pout. It amused you, seeing a different side of him.
It was only three minutes later that he climbed onto the bed, knees against the mattress as he moved towards you, those blue eyes staring at your frame through those pale lashes. He moved to straddle you, his back straight, his body looming over yours.
"Fuck, you're so pretty," mumbled Satoru, his hand firmly landing on the headboard to support himself, making a louder sound than he intended. "You tell me if I'm too much for you, alright, pretty?" he followed in a softer tone.
You nodded, the pad of your index landing on his shoulder and travelling down his torso, trailing close to the sweatpants he wore. Satoru reached his own unoccupied palm to your face, his fingers hooking themselves at the nape of your neck to pull you towards him. His nose brushed against yours before capturing your lips with his.
Satoru had never felt drunk on a kiss until you entered his studio.
As if a switch flipped in his head, he kept you closer to him, desperate and unwilling to pull away from your lips. He breathed shakily, his minty breath fanning over your mouth.
"Oh, you're good at this," he laughed, an arrogant laugh that made your pussy ache.
"Yeah?" you murmured.
"Yeah."
The hand on your cheek moved to your throat, squeezing at the sides―not enough to hurt, just to make oxygen sparse in your system. "I'll make you feel good, sweetheart, hm? I'll do better than those fucking losers on your page."
The sweetest words said oh so cruelly.
Although it was increasingly hard for you to think, you were able to click the pieces together pretty quick, your eyes widening and your pupils dilating.
'Fourth wall break wasn't part of the plan.
Oh.
He watched.'
Satoru's gaze had changed. Deep, yet precise in conveying the exact energy desired. A short, almost inaudible gasp escaped your lips, and fuck, he fed on that, on your reactions to him, no matter how small or insignificant. It mattered to him.
Warm fingers slipped under your the black camisole hugging your body before you could even notice his hand had left your throat, caressing your skin until he his the jackpot, massaging the same breasts he had spent hours looking at only within the past week.
"Oh-ho— nothing, no bra for me?" Satoru chuckled. He captured your nipple between his index and his thumb, rolling and pinching at it until it pebbled, drawing out a whimper from your lungs.
Satoru was fascinated by what he had under his hand, taking a too-curious approach to exploring, as if he had never seen or felt another body before this point in his life. He took his time to gently remove the fabric off of your body, imagining all the ways he could bind and explore it, worship it, cum all over those pretty tits—
It wasn't until he felt your soft hands trying to discard his shirt that he snapped out of his haze, realizing he was fucking up the pacing.
Satoru latched his mouth to one of your breasts, biting and sucking gingerly while he focused on getting you out of those tight leggings you wore just for him, that truly left nothing to the imagination. He frantically worked to get those white laced panties out of the way with a tad more force than he should have, causing a tear to rip into the fabric.
"Satoru—" you gasped, only halfway acting.
"I'll get you another pair," he groaned against your chest, licking over one of the bite marks he had left before unlatching to look down.
Satoru's brain short-circuited.
Sure, he's seen your body time and time over, but that had only ever been through the careful separation of a screen, a paywall. It was different to have access to it, to be able to touch and feel.
He thanked his earlier self for asking if he could eat you out, for now, getting to have your supple thighs around his face and neck. Fuck, he could really die happy now.
Satoru caught sight of your dripping cunt, juices dripping and latching onto your skin. He felt hungry for what seemed to be the first time in his life, moving down your body to kiss right over your mound, your scent filling his senses.
"Oh, s-shit, look at that," said Satoru.
Had he just stuttered?
He nudged his nose in between your folds, brushing against your clit with a swiftness that made your figure jolt. He chuckled, moving his arms to trap your hips and pin them to the mattress, muscles flexing under his skin to intimidate.
"God, she wants me so bad."
Satoru languidly licked up and down your slit, careful to miss your sensitive bud in the meanest way. He whimpered at the taste of you on his tongue, sweet in a natural way, catching both you and himself off guard. If his face wasn't buried in your cunt, you could have seen the faint blush creep to the surface of his cheeks.
"You ever had someone do this, sweet'art?" he mumbled against your heat, lips finally latching on to your clit.
"N-No, not really," you sighed.
"Mh," Satoru hummed disapprovingly, toying with the bundle of nerves between his teeth, one of his arms sneaking away from your hips. He teased his ring finger at your entrance. "You're, fuck- fuck― you're so― taste so good..."
He pushed his finger past the ring of muscle until he was knuckles deep, groaning before he returned his mouth to your clit, sucking in small intervals as he pumped in and out of your velvety walls. Satoru whined when your hand flew to his hair.
And when you moaned for him, he was a goner. He noticed the usually loud and audibly altered sounds had turned saccharine and almost timid.
You had been faking your moans?
He snickered at his realization, breaching through the noise of your moans and the quiet slurps. "I think she loves me," said Satoru in between breaths.
"Wha-, who―"
"Wasn't talking to you, love." Satoru's words drastically contrasted with his soft tone.
He punctuated his sentence by curling his digits to find and abuse that spongey spot, earning a string of nonsense words and whines from you, only encouraging his endeavour. The soft squelch of your pussy around his fingers and his mouth was enough to drive him to buck his hips toward the mattress.
When Satoru felt your soft thighs tighten around his head, he forced himself to pull away, grunting as you desperately moved to grip your fingers in his hair, trying to keep him there. If he hadn't had such strong convictions, he might have stayed down there for the rest of his life, dying happy with his face buried in your pretty cunt.
Satoru straightened his form, his fingers pulling out to find your clit, rubbing it in soft circles. You protested, whining pathetically.
"I know, I know, sweet girl, I'm sorry. Wanna... wanna have you cum on my cock. Can y'do that love? Want you all over me.."
He was mumbling, staring into your eyes with his pupils blown wide. The blue of his irises was overtaken by those black orbs, capturing you in his sight. His chin was wet and dripping, and his lips were slightly swollen.
A gorgeous mess for you to gaze upon.
Satoru's eyes dropped down to the sweatpants he threw on earlier (and called Suguru about just to make sure it looked "casual but not fuckboy"―Suguru called him a dumbass and hung up), carefully bunching up the fabric as well as his boxers before pushing down. Hissing as his length perked up, angry and weeping pre, he breathed a little heavier than before, his shoulders rising and falling. Satoru hadn't felt this worked up in months, maybe years, all from this.
For you.
And you would not be lying saying that had to be the prettiest dick you'd ever seen.
"Shit― look at that, hah," Satoru softly chuckled. "Lift your legs up f'me, pretty, come on.."
He grinned down at you as he helped you push your knees up to your limit, delicately placing your ankles on his shoulders and leaning his torso forward. Satoru placed one of his palms behind your cranium, a small yet protective measure.
"This okay?" asked Satoru, nudging his tip against your folds, collecting your slick to drench his cock, gliding over your clit.
"Y-Yeah, this is fine..."
It was rare for you to be nervous, given that you were used to having sex, filming it, and posting it for hundreds to see. Intercourse was not something you had any insecurities about. Usually.
What caught you off guard was the look in Satoru's eyes, the way he carried himself with a gentleness foreign to anything you've seen from him.
Satoru leaned down to press kisses against your jawline, open-mouthed and delicate, exhaling as he guided his length past your entrance, satisfied at the small gasp he heard from your lips.
"Oh my god, it's even fucking better than I imagined," said Satoru, his voice strained.
He could feel the stretch, your walls fluttering to accommodate him, still so tight and fuck―the tiny high-pitched, almost inaudible whimpers that escaped your throat.
"Don't know if I'll be able to pull out, sweet girl, hah―shit―she's sucking me in, look."
"Then don't," you mumbled, turning your head to meet his lips.
"You can't say shit like that," Satoru scoffed.
"Why not? I want it."
If you were simply pretending for the camera, that was some damn good acting. Good enough to turn Satoru into putty in your hold, to shut his brain off and make him act on instinct alone, script be damned.
Satoru pushed in until his pelvis hit your flesh, his hold on you faltering in strength momentarily, a helpless expression on his face. He listened to your quiet whines, his free hand returning to your clit in hopes of easing the strain.
"Just fuckin' perfect, holy fuuuck―" he strained out.
He withdrew his fingers from your clit to taste you once more, addicted. He drew his hips back slowly, just enough to leave about an inch inside, before thrusting back in at a slightly faster pace, setting a rather slow, intimate rhythm for you to follow.
Satoru watched as your breath picked up, how the slow rock of his hips made your eyes unfocus, and your mouth hang open. He watched as your forehead started to sweat, how your hair moved along his movements.
More importantly, Satoru listened. He heard those moans, shakier and uncalculated. He knew he wasn't crazy earlier when he had the reflection that you had been faking them.
Actually pathetic, those "men" you had been with.
"You're so pretty, y'know that?" Satoru mumbled, out of his mind. Like he was a schoolboy talking to his second-period crush. "So pretty... s'not fair..."
"H-Huh―?"
"S'not fair how it's gonna be―mh, shit―over, how s'gonna be over."
Satoru angled his hips differently, aiming for that spongey spot he had found earlier. That said, he would have had to be able to think straight to get it on the first try; which he could not, not when he was buried deep inside your cunt.
"W-What―aah, fuck, Satoru~"
You couldn't recall any shoots you had done―or any sex you had had at all, actually―that felt as good as Satoru.
"Right there, right? S'that i-it?"
He drove his movements faster, his pelvis hitting the back of your thighs and your ass with a louder SMACK! than it did previously, his breaths becoming further shallow and desperate. His skin grew increasingly damp as his efforts increased, and what were previously grunts turned to shameless moans, whines and whimpers, wanton and needy.
The man was losing his mind, so unlike anything you had seen from him.
Satoru's thrusts soon became erratic and uncoordinated, his face buried in your neck, drinking all of the sounds you were making like he was getting drunk on them.
"Can't... won't last l-long, okay? M'sorry I can't..." Satoru wailed.
His hand found your breast, flicking at your nipple in hopes of making you cum faster, needing to feel you. You were teetering on the edge, and he could feel it, feel how your pussy drew him in.
"Y'know you've been― y'been teasing me for two fuckin' weeks―aah... shitshitshit, so so g-good―two weeks." He paused to groan, pinching your flesh between his index and thumb to elicit a reaction from you. "Can't get enough of you, you're so―and you know it, you fuckin' know it too, I-I know y'do."
"Satoru! So close, please d-don't stop," you yelped, walls constricting around his length.
"Y-Yeah, pretty, I know, fuck―I know, sweet thing. I got you," Satoru panted and tightened his grip on the back of your head as if to brace for impact. "Y'do know how to drive me fuckin' crazy, with―mh, you're so soft and pretty, m-makes me want to quit the business, make you my own, God, make you my pretty wife."
Satoru's mind was running on overdrive, trying to keep up with what the fuck he was saying and making sure you felt good, as good as him. No easy task.
"Shit, gonna make you mine, I promise, fuck―"
His his stuttered as he spilled himself inside you, crying out like a wounded animal. It felt too good, it was too much.
Satoru kept going, although fucked out of his mind, determined to make you cum. He lapped up the sweat from your neck, not caring if it was nasty, while he reached down to your clit once more, slapping the sensitive bud a few times, stopping when he felt your cunt constrict and clench around him, a nice little ring of creamy mixed arousal forming at the base of his cock, gliding down your ass and spilling on the bedsheets.
"Such a mess, oh my God," Satoru whined.
He gathered some on two of his fingers, wiping it right off of your skin. "Taste it f'me, pretty," Satoru groaned.
He could have ascended to heaven right then as you wrapped your lips around his digits, glossy eyes peering up at him through your lashes.
"I gotta keep you."
pt. 2?
#⸝⸝ ― crimson writes#.✦ ― jjk#𝜗𝜚 ― satoru gojo#jjk#jjk smut#satoru gojo#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujustsu kaisen x reader#smut#one shot#fem reader#x reader#reader insert#reader smut#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#gojo satoru smut#satoru gojo smut#gojo smut#jjk satoru#gojo headcanons
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BL Boys I Wanted Carnally in 2024 💖✨
Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!
Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!
💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜
Remember this game? I'm bringing it back!
MERRY CHRISTMAS LET'S LOOK AT BEAUTIFUL MEN
♡ Fort Thitipong as Mahasamut (Love Sea)
I wrote a whole post about how badly I wanted to eat this man with a spoon and how stupidly fucking attractive he is because I could not keep it to myself. I WANT TO EAT EVERY LAST BEEFY GOLDEN INCH OF HIM AND THEN I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!
♡ Furuya Robin as Takashi (Love is Better the Second Time Around)
I see Hiro. I understand Hiro. If this man made this face at me, I would also go have a really good shower.
♡ Ngern Anupart as Arthit (Fourever You)
THEY MADE HIM A FOOTBALL PLAYER AND COVERED HIM IN TATTOOS I NEED PART 2 LIKE I NEED AIR *SCREAMS INTO A PILLOW*
♡ Great Sapol as Yoryak (Wandee Goodday)
He's my blog header and blog title for a reason. Putting this beautiful giant ass man in bunny ears and a tail was a gift *specifically* for me. A gift for which I am eternally grateful, bless you thank you P'Golf.
♡ Mark Sorntast as Pie (Battle of the Writers)
I would like to once again thank the cameraman for this very slow pan up Mark's body and I would also like to thank whoever decided that Pie should strip for Ozone because they really blessed us all.
♡ Top Piyawat as Namping/Sian (Every You, Every Me)
I want them both in very different ways which, once again, all the credit in the world to Top both for Looking Like That and for having the skill to portray these two characters so differently.
♡ Pond Ponlawit as Hill (Fourever You)
I don't ever not want Pond carnally when he is on my screen. He was also great and attractive as Third in Century of Love but he didn't get enough screen time and also they didn't show him to us like this:
♡ Joong Archen as Fadel (The Heart Killers)
Style's just like me fr because I would absolutely RUIN my life for this man. I would ruin several lives for this man. I'd beg, borrow, and steal for this man.
♡ Frank Thanatsaran as Atom (The Rebound)
Atom is too sweet and too good and too damn fine not to have gotten his happy ending. I would do so right by him. He'd get a happy ending and then some.
♡ Nagumo Shoma as Arashi (Love in the Air Koi)
No one has ever been more perfectly cast in anything ever than this man. Shoma was made to be the Japanese version of Payu. The daddy dom energy just drips off of him. AND THAT SHOT OF HIS BACK? STILL NOT OVER IT.
♡ Big Thanakorn as God (Monster Next Door)
He's just so unfair. The sweetest, greenest flag of a man ever and built like a goddamn tree it's NOT FAIR!
♡ Lin Chia Yo as Johnathan (See Your Love)
Peace and love to Xin Jia he's just a baby gangster trying his best but I would NEVER let Johnathan leave that bed whether I remembered how we got there or not. NEVER.
♡ Sailub Hemmawich as Oab (This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans)
The long pretty eyelashes and the fuck me eyes and that body I just--ONE CHANCE JUST GIVE ME ONE CHANCE OAB PLEASE
♡ Yin Anan as Jack (Jack & Joker)
HE HAS A NECKLACE OF MOLES AROUND HIS NECK! HE HAS A MOLE JUST BENEATH HIS SHOULDER BLADE! DO YOU GET IT DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
♡ Jaonine Jiraphat as Latte (Knock Knock Boys)
Of course he's on this list. Do you know how many of his gym thirst traps I've posted on this blog since this show aired? I would like to personally and very sincerely thank whoever styled Jaonine in this show.
♡ Max Kornthas as Tai (Two Worlds)
I'd get distracted too if he was looking at me like this while I drew him. Doesn't matter which version of him it was, I would let him do anything to me and if it was the scarface version, I could fix him.
♡ Poom Phuripan as Joe (My Stand-In)
The way I would give Joe anything he wanted just to see that beautiful face smiling up at me. Congrats to Ming for being rich and everything but he could never treat Joe as right as I could. I would babygirlify that man to within an inch of his life just like he deserves.
♡ Honorable Mentions ♡
I am going to break my own rules a little bit because this is my list and I can so I'm going to include:
Kevin Chang as Ever4 (Eternal Butler)
Like I know the show just started and thus doesn't meet my criteria but I can't NOT include our new favorite daddy dom robot butler because...
...reasons. If I do a list like this for next year, best believe he's gonna be on it again.
Nike Nitidon as In (180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us)
This breaks my rules even more but I watched this show for the first time like a week ago and it immediately landed itself on my list of favorite BLs ever because everything about it is like heroin to me and I NEED this man to be in another BL so desperately like you don't understand giVE HIM BACK TO ME.
#babyangelsky's 2024 wrap up#love sea#love is better the second time around#fourever you#every you every me#wandee goodday#monster next door#love in the air koi#knock knock boys#two worlds the series#jack and joker#this love doesn't have long beans#see your love#my stand in#the rebound the series#the heart killers#battle of the writers#eternal butler#180 degree longitude passes through us
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Christmas Love {2}
Pairing: bf!skz x reader
Tags: fluff, sugestive
~ gift giving based on this fake texts smau
part 2: minho, seungmin, jeongin
-> read part 1 with chan, hyunjin, jisung and changbin here
Minho - Visiting cats at the shelter
The local shelter is a familiar place for both you and Minho. Three of the five cats you have at home come from here and you also try and volunteer whenever you can, so when you walk in, hand in hand with your boyfriend, multiple people greet you by name.
‘I can’t wait to see all the kitties, it’s been a while since we’ve been here and they always get so many new strays around the holiday,’ you say, leaning your head against Minho’s shoulder.
‘Yeah, one of the reasons I hate people,’ Minho murmurs and you chuckle.
‘Just so you know, we're only bringing home one cat,’ you say, wagging your finger in his face as a warning. ‘So don't go falling in love with siblings or duo's that have to stick together.’
Minho snorts and snaps at your finger with his teeth. ‘I should be telling you, kitten, remember last time?’
‘We're not talking about that right now,’ you reply, poking your tongue out at him. ‘We both have a weakness and we know it.’
The two of you easily find your way into the shelter, wave at the people behind the counter and then slip into the room where some of the cats are allowed to wander around and play with each other. Immediately multiple cats come running your way, rubbing their bodies against your legs and purring loudly.
‘Aww hey, guys,’ you coo, getting down on your knees to properly pet them.
Minho does the same, sitting down cross legged and within seconds there’s a cat on his lap and one on his shoulder, sniffing his hair. You laugh as he lifts the cat off his shoulder by the nape of his neck.
‘Bad kitty, you can’t just climb people like a tree,’ he scolds the cat, setting it down beside him.
‘You sure about that baby?’ you tease, scratching the orange cat next to you behind his ears. ‘What if I want to climb you like a tree?’
Minho gives you a heated look. ‘You’re the only exception to that rule.’
‘How is that fair?’ you laugh as you get up, walking further into the room to greet the cats that don’t dare to come closer right away.
‘Life isn’t always fair,’ Minho shrugs.
You roll your eyes and bend down when you see a small black cat with big green eyes staring at you from underneath one of the cat trees.
‘Hello gorgeous,’ you say softly, holding out your hand for the cat to sniff if he wants too.
At first he just looks at it like he’s never seen a human hand before, but then his nostrils flare and his ears twitch as he slowly stretches his neck to reach your fingers. You stay as still as you can to not scare him away and after a few seconds the cat slowly moves forward, its body staying close to the ground.
‘That’s it, come say hi,’ you coo, keeping your hand still.
‘Oh he’s adorable,’ Minho pipes up from behind you. ‘Look at his eyes.’
The cat lifts his head when he hears Minho’s voice, but he doesn’t run away.
‘He’s going to need a lot of love,’ you say as the cat turns its beautiful eyes on you again.
‘Good thing we have plenty to give,’ Minho smiles, shuffling closer to you and the black cat until he’s behind you, his chest touching your back. ‘Cause I don’t think we’re leaving here without him.’
You turn your head to look at him, a grin already on your face. ‘Really?’
Minho presses his lips to your temple in a soft caress. ‘Really.’
Seungmin - Pink collar
At first you didn’t plan on actually getting the collar, thinking Seungmin was only joking when you asked anyway, but the more you thought about it, the clearer it became to you that he wasn’t joking. He had hinted about it before, showing you images of other collars while wiggling his eyebrows, but you’ve always laughed it away, thinking he was just teasing.
You also knew he liked wrapping his long fingers around your throat when you were being intimate together, as well as pulling on any necklace you'd wear. So, after careful consideration, you decided to buy the collar he sent you as his christmas present. You also got him his favorite perfume, a new sweater and some of his favorite snacks, just in case it had been a joke after all. If he didn't really want it, then at least you could laugh about it.
‘What’s up with you tonight, babe?’ Seungmin asks, placing his hand on your thigh when you nervously shift in your chair again.
‘Nothing,’ you smile at him, putting your hand on top of his. ‘I’m just excited to give you your presents.’
Seungmin raises his eyebrows at you and his eyes scan your face carefully.
‘I promise Minnie,’ you say when he keeps looking at you. ‘Now eat your food.’
Your boyfriend however has other plans and pushes his chair back. ‘Nope, I can’t enjoy your delicious cooking when you’re anxious. Come on,’ he says, holding out his hand for you.
You sigh in defeat and place your hand in his so he can help you up, it’s no use arguing with him anyways. Seungmin interlaces your fingers together and leads you to the living room, only stopping until you’re in front of the Christmas tree.
‘I still have dessert, you know,’ you say when he turns around to face you.
‘We can have it after,’ he replies, pushing a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. ‘Do you want to start or shall I?’
You reach down to grab one of his gifts, the perfume, because you’re too much of a chicken to give him the collar right away.
‘Here, Merry Christmas love,’ you smile, leaning in to press a kiss on his lips while giving him the wrapped present.
Seungmin frowns when he sees the perfume and your heart sinks when he looks up at you. Shit. Did he not like this perfume anymore?
‘This is what you were anxious about?’ he asks, pulling you close to him. Oh. ‘Baby–’
‘No, no,’ you hurriedly interrupt him. ‘It’s another present.’
‘Okay,’ Seungmin says. ‘I’m sure I love whatever you give me, I always have.’
You grab the small box from under the tree, eyeing it for another moment in hesitation, before putting it in Seungmins hands.
‘Open it, but keep in mind that you asked for it and it’s totally okay if you don’t like it.’
Seungmin rolls his eyes at you and takes off the lid, exposing the pink collar. It has the pink bow in the middle, just like the picture it send
Seungmin blinks, and then blinks again.
When he looks up at you again you can't quite figure out what the look in his eyes mean, but it makes your stomach flutter anyways.
Seungmin carefully takes the collar out of the box.
‘Turn around,’ he says. No, he orders.
Heat spreads to your cheeks and neck, but you do as he asks, lifting your hair up for him so he can put it on. The cool leather touches your skin and you shiver when you feel Seungmin's fingers at the back of your neck where he fastens the collar.
You turn back to him to see his eyes locked on your neck in fascination while his fingers come up to touch it.
‘It looks absolutely incredible on you,’ he groans.
You giggle and bring your own hands up to touch the leather as well. ‘So you like it?’
Seungmin's eyes meet yours and then he hooks his finger under the collar to pull you close.
‘I more than like it, I love it and I think we should skip dessert and head upstairs.’ Without waiting for a reply, his lips are on yours and he starts to walk the two of you backwards and out of the living room.
Jeongin - Matching pyjama’s
‘No,’ Jeongin says, shaking his head. ‘Nope, nu-uh.’
In his hands he’s holding the soft pink pyjama bottoms you bought for the both of you. The fabric is covered in Hello Kitty's and bows in a darker shade of pink.
‘You said not to get you the grinch pyjamas,’ you pout at him. ‘And you look great in pink!’
Jeongin shakes his head again, putting the pyjama’s down on his lap. ‘I’m not sure what’s worse, the grinch ones or these.’
‘Obviously not these, we’re going to look so cute together!’ you giggle, leaning against your boyfriend to press a kiss on his cheek.
‘We’re always cute,’ Jeongin says, taking a hold of your chin to keep you close so he can properly kiss you.
You hum against his lips and kiss him back, moving your mouth over his. It’s soft and sweet, and when you pull back you feel warm and fuzzy and loved.
‘I got you something else too,’ you whisper, blindly grabbing the present from under the tree where you put it not too long ago.
Jeongin accepts the box you set down in his hands, eying you curiously before carefully undoing the bow and opening it.
‘Oh,’ he gasps. ‘Y/N, it’s beautiful!’
Inside the box is a silver bracelet you designed yourself along with a matching pinky ring. You had one for yourself as well.
‘Do you like it? I didn’t know what to get you, but I figured some new jewelry would never hurt,’ you smile.
Jeongin looks up at you with sparkling eyes. ‘Like it? I love it, baby. Will you help me put it on?’
You let out a sigh of relief and take the box from him, carefully taking out the ring first. Jeongin holds out his hand and you gently slide the ring on his pinky.
‘This feels weird,’ Jeongin laughs. ‘I should be the one slipping a ring on your finger.’
‘Then you should be getting down on one knee,’ you wink, picking up the bracelet next.
Jeongin freezes, but only for a second and you look up at him in confusion.
‘You know I’m joking right. I mean, of course I want you to ask me one day, but I’m not like expecting anything now or soon, or I don’t know in the near future,’ you ramble, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment.
‘Hey hey, look at me,’ Jeongin says, his fingers once again grasping your chin as his eyes lock onto yours. ‘I will ask you to marry me. Not today, but I will.’
You gape at him and he grins, leaning in close to nuzzle your noses together.
‘One day you’ll be Mrs. Yang.’
a/n: Happy Christmas Day everyone!! Part 3 with Felix will probably be up tomorrow, I wasn't able to start his yet and it's family time now :) Hope you enjoy <3
taglist: @jaeminie-cricket @jeonginsbaee @staylovesmiley @newbbystay @cashtonsbetch @mariahxrrera @kaleigh-2002 @silencionyx @smileykiddie08 @my-neurodivergent-world @yaorzu-blog @yoongiismylove2018 @staytinyluv @bookswillfindyouaway @queen-thiccness @notastraykid @ateez-atiny380 @estella-novella @furfoxsake22 @hyunjinhoexxx @insomnjen @hannahisnotblue @vivilovesuu @velvetmoonlght @skz8love @corgilover20 @littlelostdemonofthelight @stephanieeeyang @zulie-and-cats @chanshugsaretherapy @pizzalove5000 @dazzlingjade
#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#lee know x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader#skz fluff#chancloud8 writes
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ARCANE: unreliable narrators (Silco and Vander focused) PART 1
I haven't really been in this tag/fandom before the season 2 finale, but can we talk about how both Vander and Silco are unreliable narrators? Especially when it comes to their flashback scenes?
I don't get why i've seen so many take the flashbacks we got in the show at face value. The show makes clear time and time again that when we get a flashback from the point of view of a single character, they are an unreliable narrator.
some examples of other characters:
on the left: biased/not the reality (character's memory/pov) vs on the right: unbiased/reality (our, the viewers, pov)
I'm going to use video clips and transcripts of the memories because I can't just gif like 5 minutes of scenes. Since you can only have one video per post, I will have to post this in several parts.
Let's start with Warwick's memories from 2x5:
We see that the memory of Warwick in episode 2x5 is all over the place, memories from the past 15-20 years come flooding back in bits and pieces.
In the first moment of this scene we see Warwick running through the mines, then we see Singed who has experimented on him, we see the Monkey Toy aggressively banging it's cymbals against each other, then we see a younger looking Silco about to swing something at an enforcer, for a split second the Monkey's face replaces Silco's, we see that it was a bottle bomb and set that enforcer on fire.
I think this represents Silco's almost obsessive nature when it came to their fight for Zaun's freedom, the Monkey overwhelms you with it's loud noise the same way Silco likely overwhelmed Vander with his ruthless actions.
the next scene, Silco looks horrified at Vander and we cut to Vander drowning Silco, then back to the moment Vander (and likely Silco) discover Felicia's lifeless body.
We see a moment of Vander punching an enforcer with his gauntlets from 1x1, cut to the Monkey's face again, then we see Warwick's perspective of the prison fight with the enforcers in 2x4 (we see him choke one of them out with his claws) and slashing several more of them brutally.
Finally, we cut back to the mines were he hallucinates a toddler-aged Powder crying her little eyes out (it looks like something that actually happened. I think this might be a moment shortly after he takes in the girls. Powder looks like she just woke up from a nightmare, her body language is shy and scared). He softly wipes the tears away with his left hand (same hand he used to choke Silco and an enforcer just a few moments earlier)
Powder's face turns into Jinx and then pre-teen Powder and we follow Powder's lifeless gaze to Felicia dancing at the Jukebox, before finally, Vander images a Silco shortly after the murder attempt, this Silco is still dripping wet from the lake (and he uses his signature glass) but smiles at Vander invitingly (likely a moment that actually happend but was warped by the many nightmares Vander likely had about what he did).
The idea that Silco escalated the Bridge Riot and thus caused the death of many Zaunites, including Felicia and Connol, is definitely supported by this short memory, but it's *not* the only way you can read the scene. Vander's memories are evidently completely scrambled, he is remembering the worst moments of his life all at once.
It's just as valid to say that Silco was not there during the Bridge Scene in season 1 episode 1 as to say that he was!
That is what makes unreliable narrators so interesting, we can make assumptions to what happend, but if we don't get an unbiased view at a scene, we don't know for sure if it happend the way the narrator imagined it.
Examples where we have unbiased flashbacks would be flashbacks like Mel's childhood in 1x8 and the Bar scene with Felicia in 2x5. In these scenes we don't follow the pov of one character, of course information is still omitted from us to an extend, but we can make our own assumption instead of seeing the biased/narrow pov of a single character.
#arcane#arcane details#arcane analysis#silco arcane#arcane silco#vander arcane#arcane vander#vander x silco#zaundads#vanco#unreliable narrator#arcane season 2 spoilers#dare's rambles#hopefully my rambles made sense here. not 100% statisfyied with what I wrote.
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lemon sorbet with jack <3
hating you for christmas | jack hughes x ex gf!reader
❅ summary: jack gets a christmas card from his ex. he can't get over her.
❅ pairing: jack hughes x reader
❅ content: angst
❅ word count: 1.2k
❅ prompt: hating you for christmas - everclear
❅ warnings: lots of alcohol, car accidents
❅ tags: @tomskookie @dream-girl06 @skepvids @devilinpradaheels @r0wdymaize86 @summert158 @lolatokki @camiesully
❅ note: i hate love and love hate
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙₊⋆ ͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
“jack! mail’s here,” luke called, slamming a stack of envelopes on the coffee table.
“thanks, rusty.”
“let’s see if there’s anything good.”
he started flipping through the pile. bill. bill. card from mom and dad. card from nico. card from fitzgerald. card from quinn. card from cole. card from trevor. card from keefe. junk mail about gutter cleaning.
“hey, this one’s from y/n.”
“gimme that.” jack snatched the envelope from luke, his eyes wide. he tore open the envelope, revealing a cute little christmas card, similar to the one from last year. the one he was on. he stared at the cardstock, with y/n’s smiling face and her stupid boyfriend. the back was just word after word about how her life was happy and perfect and her job was great and her house was grand and her boyfriend was specimen of a man.
the envelope was addressed to luke.
jack ripped the card in half, then in half again, and again, and again. “stupid y/n.”
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to hear about your new job now
“i just need to finish my business certification, then as soon as i get the money, i’m gonna open the flower shop.”
“gonna make the arrangements for our wedding?”
“of course, jacky,” she said, kissing his cheek. she slid onto his lap and he wrapped his arms around her waist.
I don't want to hear about your new boyfriend
“jack, it’s so beautiful.”
“of course, love. i wanted you to have the best ring.”
“i love you.”
“i love you too, mrs hughes.”
I don't want to hear about it all working out for you
“five more minutes.”
“babe, you have to go to morning skate.”
“but you’re so warm.”
she rolled over so she faced him. he pressed his lips to the tip of her nose. “you’re such a goof.”
No, I don't want to hear it now
jack hughes stuns with girlfriend at devil’s charity gala
devils forward spotted with girlfriend outside bar
jack hughes speaks: 4 nations face off, road to the cup, and his elusive lover
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to hear about your swinging new place
I don't want to hear how everyone thinks it's great
“we should get a house soon.”
“what’s wrong with the apartment?”
“we’re getting married, silly!” she booped his nose. “your mom’s gonna want grandbabies.”
I just want to sit in our apartment and hate you
jack sat on the couch, his head in his hands. y/n had been gone for a week now. he didn’t know how to tell his parents, how to ask luke to let him back in the apartment.
she was gone.
Yes, I will be hating you for Christmas
“you’re never around!”
“you knew that when we got together!”
“if you can't be present now, how can you be present as a dad?”
“i will try.”
“but you can’t try now?”
“i’m sorry.”
she placed her ring on the counter.
────୨ৎ────
You can have the Christmas tree
Remember when we bought it at the store down the street?
“i think that’s gonna be too tall, baby.”
“nah, it’ll work.”
“what if we get this pink one?”
“wait, that’s actually so cute.”
I don't want to think about the lights on your white skin
“thanks for bringing me here, jack. it’s beautiful.”
“you’re beautiful.”
he cupped her face and kissed her, the lights shining onto them. “my pretty girl.”
No, I don't want to think about it
“god, i love you so much.”
“i love you more.”
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to think about last year at your dad's
“jack, i just want to say, since y/n’s in the kitchen, i think you’re the best boyfriend she’s ever had.”
“about that…”
“what’s up, son?”
jack wiped away a tear as he opened the velvet box. “think she’ll like it?”
he was immediately engulfed in a bear hug by her dad. “you’re a good kid, jack.”
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to think about my face in your soft hair
I will be hating you for Christmas
as soon as jack opened the door and stepped inside, y/n was in his arms.
“missed you so much.”
“i missed you too, baby.”
“hate it when you leave.”
“aw, did my sweet girl miss me?”“your fiancé missed you quite a lot.”
────୨ৎ────
I must be losing my mind
“is there a y/n cloning facility nearby?” luke asked.
“no?” jack answered.
“then how come every girl you bring in looks like her?”
“that is not true.”
“last monday made a convincing twin.”
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the pain
“luke, i’m gonna hurt you if you keep talking.”
“dude, go to therapy or something.”
“i don’t need therapy.”
“right, because hooking up with girls who look like your ex is cheaper and easier.”
“i’m gonna get you scratched.”
“nico only listens to people of sound mind.”
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the hate
“you don’t even know what that means!”
“who here went to college?”
jack picked up the nearest object, a plastic cup, and threw it at luke, who ducked. the cup made a slight dent in the wall.
“now look what you did!”
“no, luke, it’s your fault. you poked the sleeping bear!”
“bears mate for life, jack.”
Wish that I could find some way to make you go away
“you’re on the devils, right?” the blonde said, holding onto his arm.
“god, you’re so hot.” brunette number one said.
the other brunette placed a sloppy drunk kiss on his cheek.
“you’re single, right?”
“no, i’ve got you three.”
“oh, you’re a fox, jack.”
“well, ladies, i try.”
Wish that I could have a drink and make you fade
he couldn’t even count the number of drinks he’d had or the number of girls on his arm. tonight, he was not jack hughes, y/n’s miserable ex. he was jack hughes, first overall pick, new jersey devils star forward and alternate captain. he was a hotshot, the big ticket item, the best looking guy at the club.
except with drink after drink, all he could think was how y/n was at her stupid apartment in the arms of her stupid boyfriend and not a single girl here tonight was her.
I wish that I could have myself a drink and make you fade
so he slammed another shot down. the girls cheered. another shot. another glass. another bar. another club. another bottle. another taxi. another shot.
“ladies,” he began, his speech so slurred and impaired, “tonight, we dance.”
I wish that I could have a drink and make you go away
“let’s go back to my place.”
────୨ৎ────
Wish that I could make you go away
five injured in hockey player’s car crash
jack hughes’ mugshot: click here!
devil’s forward jack hughes dui
jack hughes involved in collision - 6 girls in car
I will be hating you for Christmas
“hughes, those are all from different occasions!”
“i’m aware.”
“what the hell were you thinking?”
“i wasn’t, sir.”
“clearly! jack, if you keep this up, i will not hesitate to scratch you!”
Yeah I will be hating you for Christmas
“like i care!”
“you should.”
“nothing matters!”
────୨ৎ────
he got an envelope from his desk and scribbled her new address on the back. the stamp was placed in the corner with extreme precision. the shredded remains of the card were placed inside, like flowers in a vase, like a body in a coffin. then, a note reading
Thanks for the Christmas card
#jack hughes#jack hughes fic#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x reader#nj devils#njd#jh86#newjerseydevils#౨ৎ azure writes <3#nhl x reader#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagine#nhl players#new jersey devils#christmas#azure's ice cream parlor <3
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Christmas memories ~ Tom Riddle x wife!reader (Drabble)
Requested: No
Pairing: Tom Riddle x wife!reader
Summary: As you watch your child open her Christmas gifts, Tom reveals a memory from years ago.
Word count: 652
Warnings: mentions of a lonely childhood; English is not my first language
A/N: Haven't posted in a while, hope those who celebrate it had/are having a wonderful Christmas full of love and warmth! Sending lot of love and a big hug to those who are alone, or feel lonely despite being being wiith other people. I love you guys <3 To those who don't celebrate, hope y'all are doing well too! Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Sorry for the typos. Hope you enjoy it!
Tag list: : @helendeath @im-jesus @wolfyychan @blocked-zombieartist
“Mummy, this is the biggest one!”
“It is, darling. Go ahead.”
You took a sip of your hot chocolate as you watched your five years-old daughter excitedly open her last gift - which was the biggest one under the Christmas tree - in your living room, which soon revealed to be an enchanted doll’s house. Your daughter let out a loud gasp, which made you smile, and as you turned to look at your husband, who was standing against a wall, you could see that, despite trying to hide it, he was smiling too.
“This is the one I wanted!” your daughter exclaimed happily, looking at you both with a great, adorable smile.
“Santa just knows everything, doesn’t he!”
You heard your husband chuckle. You put your cup on the table and got up from the couch.
“Alright, sweetheart, let’s put all your new toys in your room, shall we?”
You grabbed your wand, agitated it, and a second later, all the toys your daughter unwrapped minutes ago started levitating in the air before going upstairs in her room.
“Can I go play with them, please?” your daughter asks.
“Sure thing, darling.”
“Yay!”
Your daughter ran upstairs, and you shook your head with fondness.
“I’m glad she liked everything,” you turned to your husband.
“Well, ‘Santa’ just happened to always be on point when it comes to gifts.”
You smiled, but suddenly anxiety came into your body.
“But did you like yours?” you asked.
It was always tricky to get gifts for Tom, because he would say he didn’t “need” anything, and the only thing he liked was books - which he bought himself all year. But this year, you decided to take risks and offer him not only books, but also clothes - black or grey, obviously -, some material to take care of his wand, some expensive quills, and a black ring. As he opened every one of them, he commented on the quality of the gift or its appearance, and made sure to kiss you as he said “Thank you, darling.”. But despite being with Tom for several years and knowing him for even more, his feelings were sometimes still a mystery to you.
His gaze softened, and he approached you, taking your hand in his.
“Of course, love. I know I’m not easy to give gifts to, but trust that I appreciate the thought, and I know and appreciate the effort you made to make sure I liked them.” He hesitated before continuing, “Actually, as our child opened her gifts, it made me remember the gift you gave me on Christmas during our first year.”
You raised your eyebrow in disbelief, and suddenly the image of a much smaller and younger version of Tom and you during your first year at Hogwarts came to you. You remembered the nervousness you had felt while giving him your gift, his confusion as he took it and opened it, and his unsure, quiet, yet somehow sincere “Thank you.”. You two didn’t know it back then, but it was the beginning of something that would only grow.
“You remember it?” you asked.
“Of course.” His dark eyes changed, revealing a deeper feeling, and he looked at the ground for a second. “I still have it, and still cherish it.”
You smiled, “It wasn’t much, just something made by an eleven year old to a friend she cared about.”
“It was the first gift someone ever got me.”
You felt your heart break, just like every time you were reminded of Tom’s lonely, loveless childhood - and all the Christmas he had spent in that orphanage without warmth, love, and people who cared about him.
“And it won’t be the last,” you smiled teasingly.
“I sure hope so.”
You wrapped your arms around his waist, putting your head on his chest, and he wrapped his own arms around your shoulders.
“You’ll never be alone, you know that?”
“I know.”
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Today Only
(The Tea Lovers Pt. 9)
A Levi x reader fanfic
Crossposted from AO3
You've got the perfect plan for Levi's birthday – now Levi just has to play along. What could go wrong?
tags: fluff and humor, silly and sweet, tea-obsessed fem!reader with their head in the clouds (word count: 3.2k)
(Part one) / (Levi x reader Masterlist)
You sneaked across the foyer of the scout's headquarters, stifling a yawn. Maybe you could still get in some shut eye before morning assembly. You hadn't slept a wink all night, having waited at the docks for the first ferry of the day, and now you were chilled down to the bone. It was still criminally early, and you couldn't wait to slide under your warm covers. At least you were already in your pajamas.
You tiptoed around a corner, colliding with something solid.
"No!" you gasped, protectively wrapping your arms around the box you were carrying as you fell flat on your butt.
You squinted up at the unexpected obstacle, which, or rather who, was glaring down at you.
"Levi?" you asked, blinking in confusion. A smile formed on your lips, but then it froze – he wasn't supposed to see his present. You scrambled to your legs, attempting to hide the box as you hurried past him.
"Where do you think you're going?" He grabbed your wrist. "Care to explain why you are late?"
You winced, trying to tuck the box under your arm without drawing any attention to it.
"I missed the last ferry, that's all. Sorry if I made you worry."
Levi's eyes narrowed at your response. "Ferry? Were you in Mitras? Don't tell me you were there for t–"
"It wasn't like that," you said quickly. "This is private, okay? I'm not obligated to talk about it. And I don't want to." You had to look down to try to hide the smile tugging at your lips. Lying had never been your strong suit.
"Still, you should have told someone where you were going," he said sternly, not loosening his grip on your wrist. "You can't just disappear like that, with no way to reach out to you."
You glanced back up at him. There was an intensity in his gaze you had never seen before.
"I guess you're right," you murmured. "I didn't plan this. I was only supposed to be gone for the day."
"But you weren't. Something could've happened," he muttered. He looked away briefly, letting out a sharp breath. "Just don't do something stupid like that again, okay?"
"Okay," you said. "I promise."
Levi nodded and let go of your wrist.
"Actually, should we do a pinky promise?" You held out your pinky.
"No."
"They are stronger, didn't you know? If you break them, your pinky falls off."
He snorted. "You don't actually believe that nonsense, do you?"
"You're no fun," you pouted, but there was a gleam of mischief in your eyes. Before he could respond, you quickly grabbed his hand, intertwining your pinky with his.
Levi went still for a moment, his gaze flickering down to where your hands were connected.
"Fine," he muttered. "But don't go breaking it."
"Of course not. I want to keep my pinky, remember?"
He rolled his eyes. You gave him your biggest smile, relieved to see that he didn't seem mad anymore, and released his hand to suppress a yawn.
"By the way, how come you're still awake at this hour?" You leaned in slightly, noticing the dark circles under his eyes, which were even more pronounced than usual. Levi didn't say anything, his eyes briefly meeting yours before flicking away again.
"You should really get some sleep," you said. "I'm heading to bed, too. I'm so tired." Giving him a quick smile, you added, "Good night!" before scampering away, hugging the box with his present to your chest.
"Night? It's already morning," Levi grumbled, but you were already out of earshot.
– –
In the end, you barely managed to squeeze in one hour of sleep. That wasn't enough to dull your excitement, though. Only a few more days until Levi's birthday, and there was still so much to plan.
Determined to not lose any precious time, you went up to Erwin's office, wielding a letter of apology. You couldn't afford to to be delayed by disciplinary actions – it was best to be proactive.
You knocked once, then stepped inside without missing a beat.
"I'm so sorry for being late. Please accept this letter of apology as a token of my sincere, most heartfelt regret." You placed it on his desk. It was five pages long, packed with every minuscule detail you could've possibly thought of.
Erwin acknowledged it with a weary nod. "Ah, the prodigal child has returned."
You grinned. "Yes! And we have many important things to discuss."
He raised an eyebrow. "Do we?"
"Uh huh. I've devised a plan."
"A plan...?"
"Yes! For Levi's birthday, to be exact. And you happen to play an important role in it!"
"Of course I do," he muttered, heaving a resigned sigh.
"Don't worry," you said, practically bouncing with excitement. "It's not that hard! You just have to keep him occupied while I decorate his office and set everything up. Maybe you can call a meeting and just talk about whatever."
Erwin didn't seem to keen on the idea.
"Just for an hour, or so. If you're unsure how to fill the time, I made flashcards with suggestions."
With a proud flourish, you set down a small tower of paper cards in front of him.
The first card read: 'Striving Beyond the Horizon - A motivational speech for the upcoming expedition'.
He glanced at the flashcards, his brow furrowed slightly. "... I don't think these will be necessary, thank you."
"Suit yourself!" You picked them back up, accidentally dropping one in the process.
Erwin took it from the ground, reading it slowly, his lips twitching slightly as he took in the dramatic wording.
'Why do we keep going? What compels us every day to put on this uniform, to march towards the unknown, towards the Titans?' [Make a dramatic pause here, maybe sweep your arm out in a grand gesture to buy more time.] 'I believe there to be meaning in the journey itself, in the act of moving forward, the striving… in each of the discoveries we make along the way. Not just about the Titans, not just about the world outside, but about ourselves.' [Make prolonged eye contact here.] 'It is not just our knowledge that grows in our ever-present push against the horizon. No. We too, grow as people. As we challenge the walls, we challenge what it's like to be human.'
"Did you write an entire speech?" Erwin looked at you incredulously.
"I may have gotten a little carried away," you admitted. "It should be about an hour long, if you follow the additional directions I put in."
Erwin ran a hand over his face. "While I commend your effort, I don't think Levi would sit through an hour-long speech just for him."
"Yeah, you might be right about that." You gave him a sheepish smile. "But since this is you we're talking about, I'm sure you will figure out other ways to keep him away from his office. I have complete faith in you!"
Erwin rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking thoroughly exhausted. "You're going to great lengths for Levi."
"Of course! He's saved my butt more times than I can count. I have to give back somehow."
He scrutinized you for a moment, then shook his head. "Does Levi know you're back? If not, you should probably tell him."
"Yep, he caught me this morning when I came back, gave me a solid talking-to."
"Good. He was up all night worrying about you."
You shot Erwin a look of disbelief, then chuckled. "Haha, good one. You almost had me here. But this is Levi we're talking about."
"I'm not joking," the commander said matter-of-factly.
"Well, he probably just couldn't fall asleep. You know how he is," you replied with a shrug.
Erwin exhaled sharply. "Sure." He motioned to the papers on his desk. "I should get back to work."
"Yeah, I shouldn't keep you any longer. Thanks for agreeing to be a part of the plan though, you're a huge help!"
You beamed at him, then turned to leave. Erwin looked after you blankly. Had he really agreed? Well, with you, he figured there was rarely any other option.
– –
The alarm sounded before dawn, rousing your roommates with groans of confused annoyance. You sat up straight, feeling the excitement rush through your veins. It was the 25th of December – time to set your plan into motion.
You made your way to the mess hall kitchen, ready to kick off the first phase of your operation. After that, you went back and forth between your room and Hange's office many times – she'd kindly allowed you to store everything there, so you'd be faster setting everything up later.
As you hustled and bustled about all day, you avoided Levi like a ninja, even skipping breakfast to ensure you wouldn't run into him until it was time – teatime.
About an hour before the big moment, you crept towards Levi's office. Hiding in the shadows just around the corner, you waited patiently, listening intently to the sound of Levis footsteps as he disappeared into Erwin's office. When you were certain he was out of sight, you emerged from the shadows with a mischievous grin.
"Time to get out the good stuff."
You darted across the hallway to his door, eager to go inside and start the next phase of your plan. There was just one little problem – it was locked.
"No! Don't do this to me!" you implored the lock, but the door refused to budge, unsympathetic to your pleas. With a small, frustrated whine, you gave up. There wasn't any time to try this yourself – you'd need someone who was good with their hands.
Without hesitation, you started running, sprinting all the way to Hange's lab. You burst through the door with a dramatic little jump, but then couldn't get a word out, too busy catching your breath.
"Woah now, what's got you galloping in here like a wild stallion?" Hange asked you with a grin.
"Code… Purple," you gasped between breaths, alluding to the colors of the signal flares used during expeditions.
"An emergency, huh? Should we drop everything and panic, or can I help?"
"That depends," you panted. "Do you know how to pick a lock?"
Hange rolled up their sleeves. "Oh, you bet I do."
Next thing you knew, you were kneeling next to Hange on the floor in front of Levi's office, watching them rummage through the toolkit they brought along.
"Nice! This one should do the trick!" They inserted the small, makeshift pick into the lock, wriggling it around carefully. You could hear something shift inside, giving in to the deft movements of Hange's hands as they twisted and turned the pick just the right way.Click, then click again.
"Done!" Hange said with a triumphant grin, and pushed down the handle. The door swung open easily, making short shrift of the fortress that was Levi's office.
"You're a gem!" You flung your arms around their neck.
"More like a crook who steals gems, now that you've made me your partner in crime," they said conspiratorially, waggling their brows.
You giggled. "Don't pretend I'm a bad influence! There's no way this was your first time after what I've just witnessed."
"Maybe I'm just a natural," Hange said, feigning innocence.
"Nice try, but I'm not buying it."
"Okay, okay," Hange said, hands raised in mock surrender. "You got me. I'm a total scoundrel."
You giggled again. "And I'm so glad for that – this totally saved my butt. But now I really need to hurry!"
"Good luck!" Hange gathered up the evidence of your crime and winked at you. "This will be our little secret." Then they set off in the direction of their lab, whistling a jolly tune.
You cracked your knuckles. The game was on again.
– –
An exquisite fragrance filled the room as you gently lifted the infuser from the new teapot, having allowed it just the right amount of time for the flavors to fully unfold.
You took a brief moment to admire your work – the desk was adorned with a lavender tablecloth, in the center of which perched the new tea set in all its elegant glory. It was surrounded by dainty little plates of tea biscuits you had baked this morning, all of them shaped like tiny Levi's with a unique pose or outfit. Soft, flickering candles were scattered between them, casting a warm, inviting glow. Behind the table you had hung a handmade paper garland, spelling out 'Happy Birthday, Levi!' in bold, purple letters.
"Perfect!" You clapped your hands and put on one of the silly birthday hats you'd crafted, emblazoned with 'Squad Levi' in bold, and 'today only' in smaller letters beneath. You'd told everyone to put it on around teatime, though you doubted most would actually go along with it. There were special versions for Petra and the rest of the squad, replacing 'today only' with 'for reals'.
You headed for the door with an excited grin. It was time to fetch the birthday boy – wouldn't want the tea to get cold.
You ripped open the door to Erwin's office, shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEVI!" at the top of your lungs.
A lot of heads turned your way – it wasn't just Levi in that room with Erwin. There was the entirety of his squad, and squad Mike, too. You gave them an awkward wave. A beat of silence passed. Then everyone started cheering and donning their birthday hats. You breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let's adjourn this until tomorrow," Erwin said, also putting on his birthday hat.
You couldn't believe your eyes. Levi seemed to feel the same way. "Not you, too," he mumbled, but there was an almost imperceptible quirk to the corners of his mouth. Petra and Lynne practically swooned at the sight. Oluo bit his tongue, trying to imitate him. Nanaba just rolled her eyes.
Amid the chaos, you grabbed Levi's wrist. "I need to show you something," you said, pulling him along with you.
"It's in here." You pulled open the door to his office.
"Thought I locked that," Levi muttered.
You didn't reply, a huge grin spreading across your face instead. Stepping aside, you made a grand, sweeping motion towards the table, eager for him to see the fruits of your labor.
"Ta-da! Do you like it?" Not giving him any time to respond, you immediately added, "It's a tea set. For you. Made from the finest porcelain of the most supreme quality. I'd know, since I was there when it was made. For a part of it, anyway. It was so much fun!"
With a bright smile, you handed him one of the cups. He held it by the rim in that strange way he always did, and turned it in his hands, quietly studying the design. You watched him intently. There was a subtle raise to his eyebrows, and his lips were slightly parted.
"This must've been expensive," he said finally, his gray eyes meeting yours.
"Maaybe...“ you said. "But do you like it?"
"Of course I do," he said matter-of-factly, his gaze still fixed on you. "Don't be stupid."
"Yay!" You jumped with delight. "I'm so glad you do! Totally worth every penny, then. Only the best for my fellow tea lover."
Levi snorted. You snatched the cup from his hands.
"Time for tea," you said, solemnly pouring the hot liquid into the cup.
"I made biscuits, too." You passed him one of the small plates. He glanced at them, his brow furrowed.
"They're you by the way," you said happily.
"...I can see that."
"Aren't they absolutely adorable?" You popped one into your mouth. "Mmm."
"Tch. I can't believe you just ate me," Levi said wryly.
"Sure did! And I'll have you know you were absolutely delicious."
He stared at you for a moment, then shook his head, letting out a dry chuckle. "Now that's just cruel."
You grinned. "Just try one, you'll see."
You selected a Levi in his cleaning get-up, wielding a tiny mob. "This one should clean your palate nicely." You chortled."Get it?"
Levi rolled his eyes. "After that shitty joke, I'll need something to clean my ears instead." But he ate the biscuit, anyway.
"That's so mean," you pouted. "It wasn't that bad."
"If you say so." Levi took a sip of his tea. His eyes widened. "That's... the tea from South Maria."
"Yep, you guessed it, just like I knew you would. A true connoisseur, through and through." You gave him a warm smile.
"But you only have so little of it," he murmured.
"True. That's why I saved it for a special occasion."
He huffed. "This hardly–"
You didn't even let him finish. "It's your birthday! If that's not a special occasion, then I don't know what is. Besides, there's no way I could've drunken it without you."
Levi set the cup down with a faint clink, then met your gaze, his eyes lingering on you just a little longer than usual. "Why?"
"Everything's more fun when you're around." You shrugged.
Something flashed in his eyes then, an involuntary flicker of something intense searing through his usual cool demeanor, but it was gone before you could fully catch it.
You suddenly felt a strange warmth spreading through you, not unlike the sensation of drinking hot tea, only it was in your chest. The unfamiliar feeling made you shift in your seat, unsure of its cause. You glanced up at Levi.
His mouth twitched, as though he might say something, but instead he just reached for his tea again. You took a sip of yours, too.
"Wow, it's even better than I thought! Out of this world delicious!" you exclaimed. The rich flavor encompassed your senses, and you closed your eyes to savor every last drop.
When you opened them again, Levi wore an expression you rarely saw on him. It was barely more than a subtle curve of his lips, but he was definitely smiling.
The warmth in your chest returned with a sudden lurch.
You absentmindedly brought a hand to your heart, bunching the fabric of your shirt in your fist.
"Right," you said, reaching behind you. "I made you a hat, too. You should put it o–"
"No."
"Didn't think so." You set the hat down on the table anyway. "I'll just put this here in case you change your mind."
Levi shot you a look that said everything: no chance in hell.
It made you giggle.
"Sooo... How do you like your birthday so far?" You clasped your hands under your chin. "I wasn't sure what you usually like to do on them, so I just kind of went with a tea party theme."
"Can't say I ever really celebrated my birthday before. So this is a first. But…" He paused, his gaze briefly softening. "It's… nice."
You couldn't help but smile, a wide grin forming on your face. "I'm so happy!"
"But don't think you won't have to clean this up later," Levi muttered.
"I know, I know." You both knew he'd end up helping, anyway.
A/n: Happy birthday, Levi! Thank you for giving me the motivation to start writing fanfic! (and to keep my place a little bit cleaner, lol.) Btw, I've also written a one-shot for LeviWeek, which will be out in a few days! Let me know if you wanna be tagged for it!
Tag list: @thechaoticarchivist, @mmm-alhaitham, @nironasaran, @leviiheichou, @huffleruffplant, @shutupp1, @iifrui, @shakysif, @ickearmn, @omlyurslvi
#levi ackerman#levi#aot#levi x reader#levi aot#captain levi#attack on titan#levi attack on titan#levi ackerman x reader#levi x you#levi x y/n#snk levi#shingeki no kyojin#snk#levi fluff#fluff#fanfic#fanfiction
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My apologies for being incapable of having short responses, ha.
For one, this post is mainly addressing a common sentiment I've been seeing throughout the years online with regards to DID about people seeming to think that seeing alters, say, have their own names and Tumblr side blogs and pronouns and profiles as a bad thing.
A lot of people see alters expressing themselves online and will fake-claim that system, will claim that this is "glorifying" DID or "romanticizing" it.
I see this CONSTANTLY! I see this on Tumblr, I see it on Reddit, I'm certain it's on plenty of other websites I don't use.
Because these types of people have a grave misunderstanding of what DID is, how it works, what and who alters even ARE. They see alters as the side thing that just happens to DID, when the person with DID is always an alter. These people will sit here and act like the mere act of, say, me expressing and introducing myself online as a specific alter and they'll look at that and fake-claim and act like it's romanticizing or glorifying DID and, pray tell, I just have to ask these people what part of me am I allowed to express? Do you see DID as "the host, and then the alters" and you think I'm a host right now, and it's acceptable to express myself because you think I'm a host, as if "host" is "the main/actual/real person" and not just another alter? What part of me is acceptable to express? What part of me is allowed to be expressed, online or not, and which parts of me aren't?
I never brought up anything about covert or overt, and that's actually for a very specific reason (the tags mentioned covert/overt, but that was that person specifically, not us). We haven't said a single thing about overt or covert in this entire post, and this is actually partially why - what I'm saying and what I'm talking about is being incorrectly conflated with meaning "Being Overt" or "being separate, distinct People" when that isn't what I was saying or implying. Being covert or overt has nothing to do with this.
I'm talking about alters expressing themselves, and I think this is incorrectly being conflated to meaning overt or meaning "distinct, separate people" when that's not what it means.
Let's take away the DID and alter stuff for a moment:
Humans express themselves through many ways - we express ourselves with our names and having our own hobbies and interests, yes, but we also express ourselves just in terms of, like. Talking to a friend about the stress we're going through.
When you, as a person with DID, are expressing yourself - by talking about your trauma to your therapist; by communicating with the different parts in your system; by allowing parts to simply BE who they are instead of suppressing them and trying to hide them - it is alters expressing themself.
That means nothing about whether or not those parts exist with a separate name, separate hobbies, or just generally are their own "distinct person."
Remember my example with my part 'Tea' - I came into therapy one day, very excitable, energetic. I felt embarrassed for Being The Way I Was in that moment and my brain switched to someone else almost immediately, because of that embarrassment.
Months later (or even a year later, I don't even know anymore lmfao), I came into therapy pretty energetic and excitable again. But this time, I felt safer and more comfortable. We didn't switch to another part out of embarrassment, I felt safe to be myself in that moment.
This is what I mean.
Overt/covert has nothing to do with it.
What self-expression means to me is going to be different from other people, and what self-expression means to them is going to be different from me. For us, it means allowing ourselves to exist as we are and not trying to force us into a closed-off box of "Being One Person." For you, maybe it means simply ripping up paper to express anger (i.e. a specific part in your system ripping up paper to express the anger they feel). And that's still self-expression, and that's GOOD!
I will clarify, though, that my second addition/reblog was more talking about my personal thing about our own journey, just as an added ramble-conversation to do with what the tags said. It was not meant to be applied to other people - I did feel that that person's tags were important, but it's not meant to be a generalized Rule of "everybody with DID must be like this to heal." I did not feel the need to put disclaimers about "just to be clear, this isn't about covertness or overtness, and being covert or overt has nothing to do with this" because it didn't feel necessary, but to clarify:
Being "overt" does NOT mean "lower dissociative barriers"
Being "covert" does NOT mean "higher dissociative barriers"
Alters expressing themselves does NOT mean "overt"
Having lowered dissociative barriers simply means communication between parts has improved, amnesia has been lowered, etc.
Whether or not a system is "covert" or "overt" is less to do with dissociative barriers, although it CAN play a role, whether or not a system is "covert" or "overt" is actually more dependent on that specific person - their life, the trauma they went through, the environments they were raised in.
Nearly every single ""OVERT"" system I have known have had very specific life experiences that have lead them to develop this presentation. When you hear about these systems and they explain things about their life, how they were raised, their trauma, it becomes clear that the presentation their DID took the form of had way more to do with their personal, specific life experiences and less to do with anything about how high or low their dissociative barriers were. Although, yes, again, that CAN play a role, but not as big of a role as you might assume - MANY, MANY "overt" systems have very high dissociative barriers.
To be a bit more clearer: alters expressing themselves can give an idea of whether or not a system is "overt" or "covert" (I think this terms are shaky and muddy and blurry anyways and ultimately don't think they're very helpful, but that's a discussion for another day), but alters expressing themselves doesn't mean anything about being overt. It just means expressing themselves, and that can be in "big" ways (having your own name, pronouns, and personal hobbies and interests) or "small" ways (allowing yourself to express your anger in a healthy way; talking to your therapist about trauma and finally feeling safe enough to do so, etc.).
It took awhile to write this post, and I hope this helps.
"DID is most often hidden and unnoticeable" as in "MANY symptoms of DID, including the symptom of switching from one alter to another, are easily passed off as something else more 'normal' and not readily understood as switching from one alter to another" but you people seem to think that it means "alters don't really have differences actually and if you're allowing yourselves as different alters to know yourselves and express yourselves, you're lying/faking/wrongly self-diagnosed/glorifying DID/romanticizing DID-"
What part of dissociative IDENTITY disorder don't you understand?
You see someone with DID simply existing as themselves (alters existing as themselves) and see someone faking or roleplaying DID or wrongly self-diagnosing or "making DID their whole identity" when really it is literally no different from somebody expressing a side of themself to a friend that they otherwise feel scared to express. It is literally just self-expression.
Tea is an alter in my system who is extremely hyperactive, energetic, exciteable. She stands out. And one of the first times she was fronting in therapy, when I was noticing how different I was and how hyperactive I was, I felt embarrassed and switched immediately. And then many months later, the next time Tea was fronting, and me and our therapist realized it was her who was fronting, we didn't switch! We/she, felt safe and okay enough to behave the ways she does. I didn't switch in order to not behave in those "weird" ways, and I didn't try to suppress the ways I wanted to behave and just Be.
This is huge! It was a huge thing for us in that therapy session. And we've only been continuing our journey with finding ourselves, finding out who we are, and allowing myself to "be" "different."
Alters expressing themselves differently is merely allowing yourself the right to self-expression. It is allowing yourself to truly "be cringe." It is allowing yourself to know yourself. To know who you really are. It is an important and huge aspect of recovery with DID.
Alters are not Nothing, that is an entire aspect of this brain's identity that could not integrate into the rest of the brain's identity.
You people continue to see DID as "the actual person versus the alters that just influence that Real person" when it is more like "all of us are That Real Person. That Real Person is different alters sometimes" like people will say these things about DID being treated like an "identity quirk" just because you see an alter expressing themself when in reality what you are doing is not that different from someone making fun of some kid because they're pretending to be a cat.
You are seeing somebody with DID merely expressing an aspect of their identity, merely expressing themself, and that's bad to you because you continue to incorrectly view DID as "the actual, real person and their alters" when those alters ARE "the real person", just dissociated into its own box.
You continue to see "The actual person, the Host, who is actually a person, oh they can express themselves! :)" but it's suddenly bad when it's not what you think is "the host/the Real/Actual Person" because, again, you people are continuing to incorrectly view alters as these Side things that just pop up and they can't self-express or have their own names or have hobbies and interests or Tumblr side blogs and act like that's bad and it means someone is "roleplaying DID" or faking or "romanticizing" when it is LITERALLY, and I mean this SO literally. It is LITERALLY just expressing another side of yourself.
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I know this is gonna be a strange one, but I do have an industry question;
I've been looking for a job for the last 4 years post-grad, I've tried every bit of advice I've gotten over my 6 years in school and 4 years out. Is it too late for me?? Or more so what advice would you have at this point?? I'm starting to feel really negatively about this venture, and getting a day job has been just as difficult;;
Hello Sky! Hope it's okay to call you that. Ah post-grad job hunting.....I don't miss that period of my life at all. Before I begin, just want to preface that what I say going forward is strictly from my perspective/experience. I am not the absolute of the animation industry so if what I say doesn't align with you, you do not have to follow it haha. Alright, advice for post grad job hunting.... Well, I think I want to start off giving a bit of context for the animation landscape these past 4 years that has been rough for everyone (trust me it'll come back around to your question): 1.) COVID Pandemic
This one might be a confusing for some people because when COVID hit in 2020, the only facet of entertainment that was able to keep going was animation. If you remember, during this time streaming numbers went up because people were stuck at home, every studio was launching their own streaming platform (HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock, etc.) and celebrities were given animated shows because live-action had stopped dead in its tracks. This period allowed artists outside of California state to get hired because what's the point of capping the talent to the local area when we're already working remotely? In short, it was a boom. But an exponential boom rather than a gradual boom. You never wanna grow too fast because you'll crash out quicker (and harder) which leads us to our second factor.... 2.) Netflix's first ever round of layoffs in summer 2022, streaming actually isn't profitable?????
In short, this year is when Netflix's growth finally stopped and was the beginning of The Great Animation Contraction. Other studios who were looking to Netflix as a the new model of distributing/creating entertainment had realized Netflix wasn't invincible. As well as their business model. So naturally, they got scared and and take action (aka layoffs). I was affected by these layoffs while working at Marvel Studios and many artists got laid off at studios to save face from the mistake that was streaming (though at this point studios were still double downing on it). Also, around this time live-action was slowly restarting thanks to vaccines and social distancing protocols. So those celebrity studded animated productions dwindled down (and also they caused so much havoc for us animation workers because most of those celebrities had no animation production experience). Which now leads us to...
3.) Mergers everywhere! Yeah, uh, mergers fucking suck. People kept losing their jobs because companies kept absorbing into each other and multiplying their debts to ungodly dollars amounts! Apparently no one took a math class and understood if you multiply any number by zero you will always get a zero. These merger also caused more shows to get shelved and canned, making the job market even slimmer. And by then we get to 2023 and the....
4.) WGA, SAG and TAG Contract Negotiations By now, studios have realized that streaming is losing them money because it costs a butt load of money to not only create a streaming site, but also maintain it, update it, create new media for it, acquire established franchises for it, and maintain the current library. Streaming shows aren't being advertised like they used to on cable so shows don't last beyond one or two seasons. Worker contracts are becoming shorter and shorter (I had a co-worker who had a 3 month contract! Isn't that insane?). And what happens in the midst of this streaming meltdown?
WGA, SAG and TAG are gearing up for their contract negotiations. And as we know SAG (actors) and WGA (writers) did strike which good for them! But now there are no live-action jobs and once again, animation (TAG) is the only one running because our negotiations don't officially start until 2024. At this point, so many animated productions have been cancelled left and right for the sake of "saving money and cutting costs". And the effects were very much being felt in the animation work force. Some animation workers were starting to leave the state of California to more affordable cities, some getting day jobs as baristas, hell some leaving the industry all together. It didn't help that studios were kind of withholding production greenlights 'cause 1) they're greedy corporations 2) these strikes were putting pressure on them. And when we did enter 2024 for our contract negotiations, that contraction was at the tightest. The job market for animation had become so bone dry that you have director-level talent taking entry level jobs to stay afloat. But because of that new, emerging artists are blocked out from breaking in. Anytime a job listing would go up people would go in a frenzy and try every thing they could to get the job. That's how little shows were in production this year specifically. Of course, by now it is public that TAG has ratified the contract (meaning we will not strike). But up until then, studios were quite literally waiting with baited breath for the duration of negotiations. A ton of stuff was in development but nothing was getting a greenlight in fear of a strike. So many animation workers at this point have been laid off for at least 2 years, got priced out of LA county, or got so burned by the industry that they left for a more sustainable paycheck. At this point of the post you're probably thinking, "Why is she talking about all of this and not answering my question?"
And the reason for that is because I what to highlight you didn't miss your chance. You unfortunately graduated at a time where the circumstances were not good for breaking in for the past 4 years.
I'm not saying this to deter you from animation either. I just want to be transparent and honest about the current state of animation because it really has been bleak for the past 4 years. So it's not your fault but rather the industry was just in a seriously bad drought. Both emerging and veteran artists have been struggling to find work and when they do it didn't even last for 6 months. Hopefully, with the renewed contract studios will start greenlighting productions again so everyone isn't fighting for one job opening. But I can't tell 'cause I am not Raven Baxter haha. But what advice can I give during this tough time? Start developing your own projects. Things may be pretty dry right now but now is the time when you can create and develop your own original stuff that can be used in your portfolio. Short or long form, showing progress videos, just create. Because once you start working it's gonna be hard to find that personal project time (trust me I'm going through that right now haha). Also, you'd be surprised how just doing your own thing can garner the attention of someone who does have the power to hire you. How do you think I got to work on the shows I have in the animation industry? Almost all of my jobs happened because I was just creating my own thing and it just happened to match the sensibilities of a show produced by a Hollywood studio. And if I had any additional advice... it would probably be don't think that Hollywood is the only way you can tell your stories.
This one is more of....a recent revelation I've had after going through a pretty bad work experience but Hollywood isn't the only way you can be a storyteller. Whether it's comics, games, streaming, animation, or film....the Hollywood system isn't the end all be all. And by Hollywood system I'm referring to breaking into a big studio like Disney, Nick or something and trying to get your own movie/tv show to win an award or something. That system often works for a certain group of people and fails other groups. That's why I say develop and create your own thing because you might find something that fits your creative voice more than Disney or any other Hollywood studio. Maybe that's inconsiderate of me to say as someone who's been incredibly lucky to work in the animation industry for almost 8 years now....but I still wanna be honest that there are other avenues that isn't the Hollywood way. All in all, please don't give up or beat yourself up. The current state of animation within America was out your control and resulted in many artists struggling to find a job. You aren't too late. In fact, I would say now is your time to do your thing in preparation for when that hiring boom comes again (or you can just take another route to tell your stories). I hope that answered your question!
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#GUEtober2023 Day 17/#グエ10月2023年 17日目
Prompt: Folk Dance/テーマ: フォークダンス
guesulemio/グエスレミオ
EN 🇺🇸
“Youʼve never danced before?”
“No.” Miorine shrugs. “Is that weird? Suletta, have you?”
Suletta shakes her head, enjoying her marshmallow-on-a-stick. Unbelievable.
“Okay.” Guel sets down his coffee and stands up. “On your feet. Now!” Miorine starts to protest until he grabs her hand. “You canʼt enjoy campfires without dancing!”
“But we donʼt know how!” Suletta laughs, pulling Miorine up with her.
“Who cares! Just move your feet and shake your body like this!”
Embarrassed, Miorine tries to escape but her partners hold fast. In the end, all their dancing is just kicking and marching in a circle. And laughing hysterically.
JP 🇯🇵
(日本語翻訳はDeepLとGoogle Translateで行いました。)
「踊ったことないの?」
「いや。」ミオリネは肩をすくめる。「それって変?スレッタ、あなたは?」
スレッタは首を振りながら、マシュマロ・スティックを食べんでいる。信じられない。
「じゃあ…」グエルはコーヒーを置いて立ち上がった。「二��とも、上がれ!」ミオリネは彼女の手をつかむまで抗議し始めた。「ダンスなしでキャンプファイヤーは楽しめない!」
「でも、方法がわからない!」スレッタは笑い、ミオリネを引っ張り上げる。
「どうでもいい!こうやって足を動かして体を揺らすだけでいいんだ!」
恥ずかしい、ミオリネは逃げようとするが、パートナーはしっかりと捕らえる。結局のところ、彼らのダンスはただ輪になって蹴ったり行進したりしているだけなのだ。そして大笑いする。
#guetober2023#グエ10月2023年#g witch#seaofolives original#there was no way I wouldn't write my ot3 in this challenge 🥹#guesulemio#i actually don't remember if I have a tag for them or not...
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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i am SCREAMING rn !!
alright so i'm watching community 4x01, "history 101." and i am Concerned about abed. and there's this exchange where abed says he's fine, and troy asks, "f-i-n-e or f-y-n-e?" he explains to britta and annie (and to the audience) that one of them is code for not actually being fine. abed responds that he's "f-Y-n-e," and troy, comforted by the reassurance that abed is Actually Fine, leaves with britta, annie, and shirley.
here's the kicker: it's a movie reference. he built a little movie reference check-in system for abed. troy states that HE made up the code; it wasn't abed's idea! it was TROY who said, "hey, you know that movie line? can we use it so i can subtly check in on your emotional state?"
this is why troy is my favorite character. what a sweetheart.
the movie reference is to "the italian job," which i haven't seen in maybe a year, so i don't remember much about it. it's a heist movie! i'm mostly sure it has mark wahlberg in it. but early on in the movie, the younger, up-and-coming heist team leader says that he's fine. his heist team leader mentor reminds him that "fine" stands for "freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional." the line comes back later in the movie, i'm mostly sure.
for troy and abed, it probably means the same thing. if abed says he's "f-i-n-e," he's referencing the movie: he's freaked out, insecure, neurotic, emotional, or otherwise Not Alright. however, if he says he's "f-y-n-e," it's not a reference; he's just fyne.
#the only other thing i remember from that movie is that it has ''money'' by pink floyd in it#bc my trivia friend who should have recognized the song and artist#Didn't#so now i have it memorized#anyway i am f-i-n-e about them two#perhaps not insecure but certainly freaking out neurotic and emotional#i just ...#(holds them gently)#talk tag#community#nbc community#trobed#(tbh i don't actually ship them romantically/sexually but their best-friendship is so meaningful to me)#troy barnes#abed nadir
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loop and mirabelle. That's it that's the ask
DAY 84: enrolled in the gossip wars
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#mirabelle isat#isat spoilers#vaguely. mostly for the tags#i think it'd be sooo funny if like. loop and mirabelle postcanon.#loop has rejoined the party somewhat recently and they are not at all adapting. to be honest. reunion probably happened too soon#bc they are a siffrin which means they are disgustingly sentimental. their ass is not taking the time to discover themself as a new person.#do you really think loop is gonna take their own advice.lol.#lmao even#Ok so anyways i think the party and loop would have a weird thing going on#like theyre all extremely grateful to loop. and they trust loop through the general basis of theyre apparently very dear to siffrin#but fucking nobody knows what to make of this bitch. odile knows they are hiding Something but she has no certain evidence to pin it down.#isabeau can't catch loop alone for more than 5 seconds. has the distinct sense they're avoiding him and he does not know why#bonnie....well tbh i think they'd vibe with loop. bonnie win.#mirabelle. i think she wouldn't really like loop? not at first anyways#do you remember in sasasap mirabelle telling siffrin(loop) that for a long time she thought they were a callous sort of person#bc they never took anything seriously at all. like the whole journey didnt mean anything. until they took an eye for bonnie#i think mirabelle would catch a similar vibe towards loop(lol.) bc like#like loop's main presence in the group is negging siffrin and being weird and dodgy around everyone else#i don't even think they'd be mean to the others but they would do everything in their power to throw the party zero bones#so all mirabelle has to go on for loop is that they're kind of a dickhead to her friend and that they're not receptive to normal group#social activities. i think being on the receiving end of mirabelle's kindness would make loop kind of sad and she'd pick up on it#but like. loop is inexplicably important to siffrin. she doesn't know the details bc neither of them want to talk at all about the loops#and i think siffrin would be especially dodgy abt talking about loop in the interrim between them rejoining and them being Presumed Dead#so mirabelle tries a new strategy to bridge the gap between her and loop. the power of Mutual Haterism#more specifically i think mirabelle would get the impression of loop as being much more of a bitch than they actually are#due to the aforementioned siffrin negging#so like. maybe that's just how they socialize maybe they'd be down to talk about hot takes and gossip a bit
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my mom didn't carry me, she fucking DRIBBLED me
#i dont even remember what the original context of this drawing was#i just really liked the visual of v ballin with the glasses#plus testing out colors i guess idk#the more i look at the sentinel silhouettes the more i wonder why i put them there#fun fact they're silhouettes because i haven't quite figured out how to draw them in a way i actually like#but im getting close#soon i will figure the sentinels out#i have an idea in mind that requires them#anywho#art#murder drones#murder drones v#serial designation v#im not tagging the sentinels i don't like these ones
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booseoksoon in 2023
thank you for saving my kpop booseoksoon <;3 i'd been drifting away from kpop for a bit but then booseoksoon happened and look at me now. changed my whole year literally don't know who i'd be if it wasn't for booseoksoon comeback. thank you for providing amazing music, even better performances and just entertainment all around. kings of fun, kings of energy, kings of adlibs, kings of performance please come back next year 😫 cr: x
#seventeen#svt#booseoksoon#svtcreations#i tried#annagram#lextag#roserayne#samblr#tusernix#heymax#hey maxx saw your tag on my post about tagging you in my posts so!! i actually remembered this time hehe <3#fave title track fave performance fave going seventeen fave person (mr cha)#i didn't want to do a whole seventeen post because it's just too much!!!!! have a good rest boys please!!!!!#but anyway this is fitting because#seriously so many of my fave moments this year were booseoksoon#it sounds dramatic but i literally don't know what my life would be like in 2023 if not for bookseoksoon my loveesssssss <3#i'm still not as active on here as i used to be but i am very much back into kpop and it definitely has to do with bss#it was just so funnnn with them#thank you for working so hard
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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